"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself" - Wise words from Dr. Wayne Dyer
by Suzie Doscher,
an excerpt from BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments'
Next time you catch yourself judging someone, stop and think what you might be feeling uncomfortable about and what you might be losing by judging someone too quickly.
Ask yourself these questions if you wish to start moving away from the behaviour pattern of being judgemental:
Not passing judgement, however, requires awareness of yourself, your thoughts, and behaviour patterns. Pay some attention over the course of a day to what your thoughts are and where they take you. Give it 24 hours to observe yourself. With increased awareness you will reach a point when you can stop yourself being judgemental. You will feel better about yourself and how you have opened your heart a little more.
Reposted with permission from Carol Ross by Susan Begeman Steiner
Six years ago, I presented a teleseminar series on networking, called Networking Naturally. My alma mater, Northwestern University agreed to sponsor the series. 350 professionals signed up in two weeks. To be honest, I made it up as I went along. While I was successful at networking and had written about it, I had never taught others how to network. I went on to teach over 2000 professionals in 20 countries how to network, with more ease and joy. Yes, joy, for even the shyest of introverts. Photo by Kathleen Tyler Conklin
I developed a set of principles around networking, which allowed people to be more of themselves, while being more effective in connecting with others. These principles are as relevant today as they were in 2009, at the depth of the Great Recession.
Since then, I’ve learned and experienced more about networking. Here’s what I know now:
by Suzie Doscher
Imagine turning 18, or whatever age the officials deem is the age of entering adulthood, and staying exactly as you were then. Nothing really changes; your behaviour, beliefs, wisdom, knowledge etc. remain that of an 18 year old. Believing we no longer change or grow once we have reached 'maturity' is one way to look at life. Seems more like a nightmare to me...
The other way of looking at life is that we never stop growing, developing and learning, which of course means changing. In my opinion this is the healthier option. I would hate to still be approaching life and its lessons as the 18 years old Suzie. With each step you take on the path of personal growth things will change therefore you will experience life differently. Life and all it encompasses changes all the time, sometimes almost daily. It is exciting and rewarding to grow, develop and change.
Here are some steps to consider on the road of personal development:
"Your vision will become clear, only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." Carl Jung
By Suzie Doscher
Henry Ford so wisely stated: "If you believe you can, or cannot - you are right." In other words if you believe something to be true, then it is your truth. If you believe you cannot do something ... you cannot and therefore will most probably will not even try to find a way to do it. If however you believe you can figure something out ... most probably you will find a way. Your beliefs can be negative or positive, therefore they can limit or empower you.
Not Quite the Person You Want to Be (but know you are inside)
If you are not quite 'the person you want to be', then it pays off to find out if it is a thought (belief) that is holding you back. The thought could be anything from 'I do not know how', 'I do not have any support', 'I do not know where to start', 'I am uncertain about this,' etc.
Beliefs are thought patterns, evaluations, opinions, judgments and generalizations that you hold about yourself, and others. These beliefs can stem back to your early formative childhood years and have been stored there in your unconscious mind ever since. They can also be from experiences as a teenager, young adult or adult. Experiences with your parents, relatives, siblings, teachers, friends, social environment, from traumas, media influence or repetitive experiences add to the collection of information that forms these beliefs, be it negative or positive.
The Eyes See But It Is that The Mind Tells You What You See
The first law of perception is that the eyes see but it is the mind that tells you what you see. One of the reasons your mind tells us what we see, or perceive, is that the underlying beliefs tend to make you look for certain things. For example a cynic will see what he or she is looking for just as much as an optimist will see what he or she is looking for. Each chooses their experience from their beliefs. When you believe something to be true naturally you act as if it is. You bring on what you expect. (Think Placebo effect) If you continually act in ways that support negative beliefs, negative events tend to materialize. People are like magnets you attract what you believe.
To unlock your potential and be the person you know you are these limiting beliefs should be replaced with positive, empowering ones.
Change Takes Time, Repetition and Patience
Holding on to self limiting patterns ensures that your potential can never be reached. When you believe you can... you find the way forward, one small step at a time. Once you are 'wired' with positive, empowering beliefs you automatically set goals you know we can achieve and therefore be successful in reaching them. Empowering beliefs to encourage growth, which leads to change and a happy, successful and fulfilling life.
Take Stock of Your Thinking Patterns.
As an example: if you find 'I do not know how' keeps cropping up. Stop yourself, sit down and start thinking in terms of "If I did know how, what would I be doing differently?'" That is a good start to slowly changing from "I do not know how" to "I can figure this out'"
Check out Suzie's book
'BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments'
Full of self coaching exercises to support you.
Self-Help Book / Personal Development