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Coaching Blog
The Coaching Group Of Switzerland

What Are You Waiting For?

25/5/2017

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By Susan Begeman Steiner

​Have you ever had someone ask you what you are waiting for? if so, you know the meaning is clear: Get into action - stop wasting time!
 
Waiting has become synonymous with wasting time. We all dread the Limbo feeling of the doctor’s office waiting room. The magazines are boring, time slows down, have to get out your iPhone. Waiting seems a waste, an inconvenience, or worse, a slight – after all, important people don’t have to wait.
 
This waiting room phenomenon has colored our ability to wait in other parts of our lives.
  • We are impatient when things don’t go our way.
  • If our memo isn’t answered for several days, we wonder what the holdup is.
  • We want it now, now, now.
 
Impatience keeps us distracted, in perpetual motion and on the surface level of life, like skipping stones.
 
This intolerance for waiting is a lack of appreciation for what waiting can actually bring.
 
Mechanically speaking, most people operate optimally if they wait for a “nudge” from the outside that they can say YES or NO to. When they say YES, they find themselves drawn to something -- think romance, inspiration, kismet. Something inside them rises up and is called forth. A sleeping desire is awakened, followed by an influx of energy to start something.
 
This is the Wow Factor of Life.
 
But if you are too busy being busy, it is not possible to wait. When the kismet thing happens, you are already gone, having run off to the next thing that you thought of, fueled by a fear of staying still for a moment. Kismet arrives like the movie hero who finally comes to his senses and knocks on his Love’s door, only to find that she took a job in Chicago.
 
Waiting requires patience, no way around it. But it is the patience of the acrobat on the flying trapeze who lets go in mid-air and waits to be caught by her partner. For her it is an exciting waiting, that endless moment until she is caught (or falls into the net).
 
We need to get better at waiting. We need to turn waiting from something that is boring into an exciting, endless moment of allowing. Allowing the next amazing thing to happen. This way you are home when your Love rings the bell. Something deeper can guide you and you are no longer dictated to by the Hurry Gods.
 
Three practices in the art of waiting:
  1. Reserve 5 minutes each day to do nothing.
  2. Listen to the sound within you (that small, still voice) and notice how it communicates. That “voice” is unique to you. Find out how it sounds.
  3. Experiment for a full day, or if you are really brave, for a week, with waiting to be called by the next thing, rather than rushing headlong into another moment. Sit and do not do anything until you are 'called.' It won’t take long for the next thing to catch up to you. Then follow your inner YES or NO. Find out what happens next.

For some of us it is best to tune into the invitations that come to us. But, whether you hear that inner voice or listen for invitations, the waiting is the same. Patience is the starting point. 

Contact me if you would like to learn how you operate mechanically and learn for yourself how you can wait for the very best that life has to offer.  
 

Get in touch if you would like to learn how you operate mechanically and learn for yourself how you can wait for the best life has to offer.

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This 75-Year Harvard Study Found the 1 Secret to Leading a Fulfilling Life

18/5/2017

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By By Melanie Curtin, Contributor Inc.com

Prioritizing what's important is challenging in today's world. The split focus required to maintain a career and a home, not to mention a Facebook feed, can feel overwhelming.
Enter the science of what to prioritize, when.

For over 75 years, Harvard's Grant and Glueck study has tracked the physical and emotional well-being of two populations: 456 poor men growing up in Boston from 1939 to 2014 (the Grant Study), and 268 male graduates from Harvard's classes of 1939-1944 (the Glueck study).
Due to the length of the research period, this has required multiple generations of researchers. Since before WWII, they've diligently analyzed blood samples, conducted brain scans (once they became available), and pored over self-reported surveys, as well as actual interactions with these men, to compile the findings.
The conclusion? According to Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one thing surpasses all the rest in terms of importance:

"The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period."

Not how much is in your 401(k). Not how many conferences you spoke at--or keynoted. Not how many blog posts you wrote or how many followers you had or how many tech companies you worked for or how much power you wielded there or how much you vested at each.

No, the biggest predictor of your happiness and fulfillment overall in life is, basically, love.

Specifically, the study demonstrates that having someone to rely on helps your nervous system relax, helps your brain stay healthier for longer, and reduces both emotional as well as physical pain.
The data is also very clear that those who feel lonely are more likely to see their physical health decline earlier and die younger.

"It's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship," says Waldinger. "It's the quality of your close relationships that matters."

What that means is this: It doesn't matter whether you have a huge group of friends and go out every weekend or if you're in a "perfect" romantic relationship (as if those exist). It's the quality of the relationships--how much vulnerability and depth exists within them; how safe you feel sharing with one another; the extent to which you can relax and be seen for who you truly are, and truly see another.

According to George Vaillant, the Harvard psychiatrist who directed the study from 1972 to 2004, there are two foundational elements to this: "One is love. The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away."

Thus, if you've found love (in the form of a relationship, let's say) but you undergo a trauma like losing a job, losing a parent, or losing a child, and you don't deal with that trauma, you could end up "coping" in a way that pushes love away.

This is a very good reminder to prioritize not only connection but your own capacity to process emotions and stress. If you're struggling, get a good therapist. Join a support group. Invest in a workshop. Get a grief counselor. Take personal growth seriously so you are available for connection.

Because the data is clear that, in the end, you could have all the money you've ever wanted, a successful career, and be in good physical health, but without loving relationships, you won't be happy.

The next time you're scrolling through Facebook instead of being present at the table with your significant other, or you're considering staying late at the office instead of getting together with your close friend, or you catch yourself working on a Saturday instead of going to the farmer's market with your sister, consider making a different choice.

"Relationships are messy and they're complicated," acknowledges Waldinger. But he's adamant in his research-backed assessment:

"The good life is built with good relationships."
​

Is it time to work on your interpersonal relationships 
- at work or at home?
Book a Life Coaching Session

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10 Top Skills Worth Acquiring for the Future - World Economic Forum

11/5/2017

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The Coaching Group of Switzerland {English Speaking Executive Coaching, Business Coach and Life Coaching in Switzerland}The Coaching Group of Switzerland will support with acquiring these skills - Contact Us

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

In the list above, one can see which work skills were important in 2015 and what's changed for 2020. One notable change is that Emotional Intelligence is #6 on the skills list for 2020 and was not even on the list in 2015! Why is Emotional Intelligence now on the list?

Simple. Emotional Intelligence affects almost everything we do. It applies both to the understanding of ourselves and how we understand others.It's crucial to both People Management and Coordinating with Others (#4 and #5 on the 2020 list). 


If you have Emotional Intelligence, you are attuned to your own feelings and can empathize with others on the basis of this. Understanding your own feelings enables you to recognize and interpret emotions in others, seeing how these emotions enter into your behaviour and attitudes. Emotional Intelligence also means that you can act on your perceptions in a productive manner.

Change management has become increasingly important for companies. For successful and sustained changes, coaching and training are essential and understanding Emotional Intelligence is a big part of it as change management is based on the emotional intelligence skills (soft skills) of the whole workforce.

The soft skills that make up Emotional Intelligence can be developed through learning the appropriate life skills and applying them at work.

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The War For Talent Is Over, And Everyone Lost

4/5/2017

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BY DR. TOMAS CHAMORRO-PREMUZIC AND ADAM YEARSLEY
This story reflects the views of these authors, but not necessarily the editorial position of Fast Company.

In 1998, after a year-long study on the subject, McKinsey researchers declared that a “war for talent” was underway. In the years ahead, they said, organizations’ future success would depend on how well they could attract, develop, and retain talented employees–an ever more valuable asset in ever higher demand.
Instead of winning a war for talent, organizations appear to be waging a war on talent, repelling and alienating employees more successfully than harnessing their skills.Today, in a world full of many more Chief People and Chief Happiness Officers, that war nevertheless appears to have been lost on all sides. Of course, many workers excel in their jobs and make pivotal contributions to their organizations. But for every one employee who does, there are many more who are underemployed, underperforming, and just plain miserable at work.

THE RISE OF PASSIVE JOBSEEKERS
More people than ever are dissatisfied enough with their current jobs to want to consider other opportunities. Over the past few years, LinkedIn has estimated that figure at anywhere between 45% and 60% of its more than 400 million users. Some recruiters believe these so-called “passive jobseekers” now comprise up to 75% of the overall workforce. Just imagine if three out of four people in long-term relationships were still holding out for a better option to come along.

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​ The Coaching Group of Switzerland - General Enquiry

Suzie Doscher
Executive Coach / Life Coaching
​Personal Development
suzie@coachgroupofch.ch
​Phone: + 41 443 59 54
www.suziedoscher.com
Susan Begeman Steiner
Executive Coach, Business Coach
​Team Coaching / Facilitation
susan@coachgroupofch.ch
​Phone: + 41 78 798 83 99
www.sbsteinercoaching.com
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​Phone: +41 76 358 37 28
 
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