Open Letter to a Leader: You Cannot Take the Emotion Out of It - Rebecca Winter
by Rebecca Winter as posted on Linkedin
I recently had the pleasure of supporting an event that was attended by an amazing and diverse group of Leaders. During an interactive session, I heard the often repeated phrase among corporate leaders from one of the participants: “When I make decisions, I try to be logical. I like to leave emotion out of it”.
Did you know that it’s not possible to ‘leave emotion out’ of anything?
That’s right! Neuroscience has exploded the notion that the best decisions are purely rational processes. We now know that decision-making is largely governed by emotion, and as such – the wisest leaders will update their world view. Not only is emotion always involved – science has also shown, that intuition is just as important and can even be superior to logic under the right conditions. Logic, on its own, may lead to incredibly flawed decisions. So, instead of trying to excise emotion - you would do well to strive to understand how best to master this new terrain and use the current body of scientific knowledge to your advantage. This will ensure you become the best Leader that you can be.
So where do you start, you ask me? Let’s start with some basic info.
Did you know that the brain in your head is not your only brain? Did you know that science has acknowledged the existence of at least three ‘brains’? Each person has a completely functioning complex, adaptive neural network in their Head (Cephalic Brain), in their Heart (Cardiac Brain), and in their Gut (Enteric Brain). These three ‘brains’ do important things that impact your thinking and your behavior. They are co-enervated by the Vagus nerve and information passes between and is shared by these ‘brains’. Each individual is taking in vast bits of information via their unconscious mind every second of every day – these varying neural networks will each have accessed different bits, processed them according to the prime functions and competencies of that neural network, and as such – each brain has a contribution to any given decision making challenge. It’s when these ‘brains’ are all functioning optimally and in coherence - and - when you actually attend to the ‘knowing’ that they provide, that you get the most transformational, generative, and simply accurate decision making.
Sound Crazy? It gets even more interesting. Neurologically speaking, evidence shows that the most powerful sequence to integrate the information processing of these three brains (if you want the best results as a leader) is: Cardiac Brain (Heart) out in front, followed by the Cephalic Brain (Head), and then supported by the Enteric Brain (Gut).
So, let’s focus on your Heart first.
It’s really, really critical that this brain is engaged. I’m not saying you have to “be emotional”. But one of the prime functions of this brain is processing what’s important to you and your priorities (and its relationship to the emotional strength of your aspirations, dreams, desires, etc.) We do our best work when we want to do it, when we believe it is truly important, and when it aligns to our values. Why would you not appeal to someone’s sense of purpose to get the most out of their capabilities? You need the right amount of emotionally driven energy to ensure that people prioritize and act appropriately amidst competing demands. Anything less is just plain uninspiring and we all want to be inspired.
Let’s focus on your Head next:
This one is easy for you and for most leaders, as the Cephalic brain is the site of thinking, cognitive perception, and meaning making. And what gets this brain functionally optimally? When you have a fantastic and motivating reason to show up fully and commit 100% - e.g. when your heart is in the game first. At that point, your head brain is on fire and able to dream up options and possibilities that support this vision that is shaped by the heart brain. This process of creativity becomes fully boot-strapped by your Purpose and then innovation and ideation become easy when you don’t “take emotion out of it”.
Finally, let’s close on a conversation with your Gut Brain:
This brain absolutely has to be engaged to get the nitty gritty work done. Evidence demonstrates that it is the seat of core-identity, self-preservation, and - very important for you and the team you lead - Motivation. When are you most deeply motivated? As we said – when you truly are inspired by your task, your creativity and idea making are engaged in service of that mission, which then boot straps your courage and motivation appropriately in service of making your desired impact.
So dear Leader, let’s not leave emotion out of it! Let’s seek to understand the complete wisdom of the body and all ways of ‘knowing’. Let’s integrate that information effectively and allow your brains to work together powerfully – for an even better, even more coherent and wiser YOU.
Core Values - Core What...?
by Suzie Doscher
In order to live your life feeling contented and on track, it is vital to know what you truly value in life, what makes you feel fulfilled and what gives you a sense of meaning.
Core Values are about YOU – not about what society, the media, your education, your colleagues and friends or family deem as important or of value, but what is important to YOU. What YOU value.
Core Values are individual to you. They can be described as your code of ethics, your fundamental principles, your standards or your personal rules. Stress tends to set in when you are not treating these values with the respect they deserve.
Not respecting your core values means you are not respecting your true self.
In turn your Self Esteem could suffer which can decrease the quality of your day to day life. Living true to your values (hence true to yourself) allows you to be at peace and to feel your own power. When the feeling of calm and peacefulness is present, the quality of day to day life is high. You will have the feeling of being a good person.
Caroline Myss, a five-time New York Times bestselling author and internationally renowned speaker in the fields of human consciousness and mysticism says, "Being able to speak and live with the truth, your truth, means you have to become comfortable with having your power, be comfortable with all that is true about you, all that is beautiful about yourself, this is being okay with yourself."
As an example of a core value let's look at Honesty, I imagine that everybody can relate to that feeling of not having been quite honest about something. The twinge felt deep inside even if it was a little 'white lie.' You still feel something, somewhere inside is off. If Honesty is one of your core values, this means you need to not only be honest, but also to be treated with honesty. Should you find yourself not being totally honest about something, this lack of respect for your core value will leave a bad feeling inside. This is the feeling of not being the person you know you are at heart, the feeling of not being true to yourself.
Being a good person means you are being true to yourself and thereby honouring your values. It is all in the choices that you make.
Living in line with your core values improves the quality of your day to day life, which in turn means being a better role model, parent, friend, co-worker, child, sibling etc. It means you are maintaining your personal power. This applies to your personal life as well as your professional life.
Honoring your values by making them a priority means you are choosing your behavior based on the right foundation, based on your personal code of ethics.
You can only gain – it is a win-win!
Do not know what your Core Values are? Let me guide you through a process to discover them in a single coaching session. Get in touch and let’s talk about it.
By Marshall Goldsmith as seen on Linkedin
It doesn't matter how friendly your tone is or how honey sweet you are in a conversation, when you start your sentences with one of these words (or both), the message to your recipient is "You are wrong."
What are these conversation stopping words? They are "No” and "But.”
These words don’t say, "Let's discuss this" or "I'd love to hear what you think about this" to people. They say, unequivocally, "You are wrong and I am right." If your conversation companion is also dedicated to his need to win at any cost, you will have a potential battle on your hands. The result? Nothing more can happen that will be productive.
Are you interested in a little test to see how competitive your co-workers are? Try this. For one week, keep a scorecard of how many times each person uses "no" or "but" to start a sentence. You will be shocked at how frequently these words are used. And, if you drill a little deeper, you'll see patterns emerge. For instance, some people use these words to gain power. You’ll see how much people resent it, consciously or not, and how it stifles rather than opens up discussions.
I use this technique with my clients. Practically without even thinking, I keep count of their use of these two little words. It's such an important indicator! If the numbers pile up in an initial meeting with a client, I'll interrupt him or her and say, "We've been talking for almost an hour now, and do you realize that you have responded 17 times with either no or but?" This is the moment when a serious talk about changing behavior begins.
If this is your interpersonal challenge, you can do this little test for yourself just as easily as you can to gauge your co-workers. Stop trying to defend your position and start monitoring how many times you begin remarks with "no” or “but." Pay close attention to when you use these words in sentences. For example, "That's true, but..." (Meaning: You don't really think it's true at all.) Another oldie but goodie is "Yes, but..." (Meaning: Prepare to be contradicted.)
Along with self-monitoring your behavior, you can also easily monetize the solution to this annoying behavior to help yourself stop. Ask a friend or colleague to charge you money every time you say, "no" or "but." Once you appreciate how guilty you've been, maybe then you'll begin to change your "winning" ways!
Lacking motivation to change how you communicate?
Self-Help Book / Personal Development