Clean Up Your Life - What to do When Your Life is a Mess

By Suzie Doscher

The Dalai Lama made a wonderful comment about anger. He suggested that anger blocks the part of the brain that allows us to distinguish the difference between right and wrong. Reality is lost in moments of anger, therefore making us blind to what is actually going on.

The same can be said about other emotions that have the power to disrupt your daily life. Anger usually manages to creep through most emotions and find its way to the surface. Somewhere inside of the emotions that have the power to overwhelm, upset, and throw your life out of balance you will most probably find some anger, if only a hint.

The Dalai Lama further stated: to deal with our problems we need to be practical and realistic. If we are to be realistic, we need to use our human intelligence properly, meaning we need a calm mind.

When your life feels like it is a mess and you are ready to take some action there are many different approaches to take. (Support from a professional or wise friend, mediation, spiritual beliefs, sometimes even just taking a “time out” holiday can help.) Find the one that suits your personality and lifestyle best. At this point you are hoping to be calmer. This will allow your mind to be more realistic again. You are more likely to stay on track with making the necessary changes with a realistic mind.

These suggestions are one of many approaches you could take that might be helpful:

1. The most important step is making sure you are truly ready to clean up your life. This means you will need time for yourself and to be dedicated to this “project”.
2. Find some time that allows you to stop, slow down, and sit quietly.
3. Think about what it is going on. What is giving you this feeling that your life is a mess? Is it one particular issue or several? Do you feel you lack direction or do not have a goal?
4. Picture how you would like it to be. Hold that image in your mind.
5. How would you like to feel? Imagine this and if possible hold that feeling.
6. Write down specifically what is going on that is not alright. What needs to change?
7. Look at what you have written and make a list of exactly what needs to change.
8. Rewrite the list in order of priority. Be very realistic and practical. Ask yourself: can I actually make some of these changes take place?
9. Imagine a ladder; each rung on the ladder represents the changes necessary.
10. Accept the fact that you will get to the top one step at a time, not in one fell swoop.

Remember that life is complicated and can be more difficult at times. Clearing your life up, getting rid of the dead wood, and finding your place of balance forms a wonderful basis. This is the best, most powerful place to work from and come back to when things are difficult. Being familiar with the feeling of being in balance allows you to know exactly what you want to get back to. This also offers you the goal to strive for. My suggestion is that clearing your life up means having found your place of balance. Life will always contain difficult times. How fast you can get yourself back to balance is the key to a successful and calm life.

An excerpt from Suzie Doscher's book: BALANCE - A PRACTICAL HANDBOOK FOR LIFE'S DIFFICULT MOMENTS.
Suzie's NEW book BALANCE - Interactive Workbook for Self-Coaching is now available if you do not have the time or inclination to work with a professional life coach. Get started on your own, in your own time. Narrow down what you want to change with the help of the workbook.