• Home
  • Coaching
    • Executive Coaching
    • Team Coaching
    • Communication Coaching
  • Programs
  • Coaches
  • Testimonials
  • Self-help Books
  • Blog
  • Contact / FAQ's
The Coaching Group of Switzerland
  • Home
  • Coaching
    • Executive Coaching
    • Team Coaching
    • Communication Coaching
  • Programs
  • Coaches
  • Testimonials
  • Self-help Books
  • Blog
  • Contact / FAQ's

Coaching Blog
The Coaching Group Of Switzerland

Controlling, Influencing or Letting Go

7/7/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
By Susan Begeman Steiner

​Maureen really liked her job except for one thing -- her colleague, Patrick, was not doing his job to the standards Maureen needed. His shoddy work was having a negative effect on her ability to accomplish her goals.

Patrick was a business partner and not on Maureen’s team or reporting to her. Maureen had tried correcting his work and sending it back to him, talking to her boss about him and sending him emails with timelines and quality standards. But nothing changed and she felt that the situation had become impossible.

Circle of Influence

When you are in an impossible situation beyond your control, what can you do?
Take a look at the Circle of Influence. In the innermost circle are the things you can control, the next circle out is what you can influence and in the outermost circle are things you can be concerned about, but otherwise need to let go of.

Here are some questions to answer when you are faced with an impossible situation.

What is actually within your control?
Look to see if there is a direct action you can take that will clear up the situation. In Maureen’s case, she did not have authority over her colleague, so her direct actions were limited to asking him specifically for what she needed and making agreements with him.
Maureen had tried this and the working relationship did improve. Patrick started to get things to her in a more timely manner. However, the quality of his work did not improve. Maureen was not in control of the quality of his work.

For the aspects you cannot control, ask yourself what influence you can have?
What can you do to influence the situation? In Maureen’s case, she had a direct conversation with Patrick where they discovered that they had a shared goal. They also admitted what they had been doing to each other out of frustration and actually forged a bond with each other. However, Patrick's standards still did not match Maureen's and she felt that, even though they now got along a lot better, the quality of his work would probably never improve.

When you have tried everything you can think of, what can you do?
If you have tried everything, then what is left is to develop your skill of acceptance in order to cope with the situation as it is. However, it is important to register your concerns, keep your eye on the situation and take action when you can. For Maureen this meant continuing to improve her relationship with Patrick and taking extra time to change his work when needed to meet her standards. She had to accept that she needed to do some extra work to keep standards high and then all that was left was to be as patient as possible. 

In difficult situations, how you react says more about you than about the other person. In these situations, there is potential for growth and learning. The alternative to a satisfactory outcome is patience, trust and staying in integrity.
 


0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Blog Home

    ​Self-Help Book / Personal Development
    by Suzie Doscher
    3
    rd Edition

    Picture
    Buy your book at Amazon
    BALANCE - offers you support  in life's difficult moments. 
    This book is about change and finding balance in life. Full of self-coaching exercises to help you learn and grow.

    Available in Paperback and Kindle at Amazon stores worldwide
    Audiobook narrated by Suzie Doscher on Amazon, Audible or iTunes

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Balance
    Business Coach In Lausanne
    Business Coach Zurich
    Coaching
    Coaching In Lausanne
    Coaching In Zurich
    Coaching Switzerland
    Coaching Switzerlandd
    Communication
    Core Values
    Covid 19
    Covid- 19
    Davide Costella
    Effectiveness
    Emotional Intelligence
    Empowerment
    Executive Coach
    Executive Coaching In Zurich
    Happiness
    Joy
    Leadership
    Life Coaching
    Life Coach Zurich
    Mindfulness
    Motivation
    Networking
    Neuroscience
    New Years Resolutions 2019
    Organizational Culture
    Other
    Pandemic
    Personal Development
    Seb Jauslin
    Start Ups
    Staying Focused
    Susan Begeman Steiner
    Suzie Doscher
    Team Coaching
    Virtual Coaching

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013

Contact info:


Suzie Doscher
Executive Coach for Self Development
​ 
​
Email Suzie
​Phone: + 41 43 443 59 54
www.suziedoscher.com
Linktree
Susan Begeman Steiner
Executive Coach
Team Coaching / Team Facilitation

​Email Susan
​Phone: + 41 78 798 83 99
www.sbsteinercoaching.com
Davide Costella
Communication Coaching
​NLP Coach

Email Davide
​Phone: +41 76 358 37 28
www.davidecostella.com
Seb Jauslin
Executive Coach for Daring Leaders and Lawyers 

​Email Seb
Phone: +41 76 202 01 13
​www.sebjauslin.com
Linktree

  • Home
  • Coaching
    • Executive Coaching
    • Team Coaching
    • Communication Coaching
  • Programs
  • Coaches
  • Testimonials
  • Self-help Books
  • Blog
  • Contact / FAQ's