How Can You Best Reward Yourself?

By Davide Costella

REWARD. Just by reading this word, your memory can be stimulated to recall those experiences you have had linked to REWARD and a given thought or behavior can be triggered. This process is totally unconscious. The aim of this article is to raise your awareness about how you process rewards.

I recently went through a stimulating and successful period in my life where I achieved a number of milestones, one after the other. I enjoyed successes that were both private and business-related, some quite impactful, others slightly less.

During this time, there was one situation that had a strong emotional impact on me and triggered a totally different way of thinking about rewards. This particular project was a long and cumbersome one -- one of those projects where you give 150%, where personal reward is the real drive, not bonus or promotions.
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My epiphany moment occurred when the project finally went live. Due to geographical distance, I was unable to celebrate with the rest of the team. Although I received some compliments, I did not feel completely rewarded. An emotional thunderstorm hit me and triggered various questions and some lessons learned about how we reward ourselves. See the points below. Before you read these points, remember that the actual definition of reward is: Something of value given in return for an act.  ... Click 'Read More'...

1. Make sure you clearly visualize your achievement.

• It is very simple: You can’t reward something you can’t recognize. Make sure you clearly visualize how you will get there and how you will feel once you have reached it.

2. Find consistency in how you reward yourself.

• When we buy a new house we often have a house warm party. This is because human beings like consistency -- consistency between what we celebrate, the house for example, and how we celebrate, a housewarming party.
• It gets more difficult when we are talking about non-material achievements. In these instances, there are a few things you can do to ensure your reward is fulfilling:
• List the 3 most significant reward moments in your life. What made them so? Find ways to replicate those elements; very likely these are things that make you feel rewarded.
• Journal about your achievement: Yes! You read that right! Reward can also be achieved by journaling. Journaling helps raising awareness of your achievement. What made it so worthwhile? How did it change you? How did it make you feel?
• See the link between your values and your accomplishment. If what you accomplish is aligned with your values, your reward will be more solid and appreciated. Stepping over your values in order to achieve something might seem okay in that moment, but in the long run it can cause an identity conflict.
• ​Notice the role other people played in your reward.
• How does it feel when other people reward you? Who are these people? What’s your opinion about them? According to the SCARF model, status (the relative importance to others), plays a key role in our social needs behaviors. Being rewarded publicly or by someone with a higher status than us can play a key role in our overall satisfaction.
• Note the three best positive feedbacks you received in your life. What made them so positive? If you analyze it, you may find common patterns that especially made you appreciate the reward. Was it how genuine and sincere the person seemed to be? Was it the words and the tone they used? Or was it the respect you had for that person? Or maybe all of the above?

REWARD. It is much more complex than we think. In fact, it takes time to fully understand how we experience reward and the reasons why. Be patient while you are in the process of understanding this.
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My invitation to you is to think about what reward means to you and apply 1 or 2 learnings the next time you get rewarded or deserve a reward. There is one and only one person with whom you spend the most time in your life and that person is YOU. Being aware of how you like to be rewarded can be a key to happiness.
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How can you set up a more rewarding situation for yourself or your team? 
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