How Can You Best Reward Yourself?

Here’s what I’ve done: 
​I blocked my calendar for a 2-hour meeting with myself one Friday morning a month. At this meeting with myself, I reflect on my activities. This has helped me to become more focused, improve as a professional and be more aware of how I use my time. One Friday morning per month, I ask myself questions like these:

1. What have I done well this month?
2. What did I learn?
3. How have I grown?
4. What type of leadership have I shown?
5. Which emotions were prevalent in me?       
6. How was my energy level?
7. What was my biggest accomplishment?
8. What could I have done better?
9. What can I take with me as I move forward?
10. What do I want to leave behind?
11. What do I want to achieve in the following month?

 
To answer these questions, I look through my calendar for the past month and reflect on what I can do to improve my performance.

If you try this for yourself, you might notice that you have had a more assertive/challenging style of leadership. Or you may observe that your primary emotions were frustration and anger, and that your energy tank tended to be half empty all the time. Awareness of these issues could be the trigger you need to figure out how to change your behaviour in order to better achieve a desired result.
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Without realising it, we often operate on autopilot. Setting some time apart to reflect, effectively turns off autopilot and allows us to take control back again.

So, why not try it? Set a monthly 1:1 with yourself in your calendar, grab a Nespresso cup of coffee, put on some music, relax and enjoy answering some questions about you, for you.  

1. Make sure you clearly visualize your achievement.

• It is very simple: You can’t reward something you can’t recognize. Make sure you clearly visualize how you will get there and how you will feel once you have reached it.

2. Find consistency in how you reward yourself.

• When we buy a new house we often have a house warm party. This is because human beings like consistency -- consistency between what we celebrate, the house for example, and how we celebrate, a housewarming party.
• It gets more difficult when we are talking about non-material achievements. In these instances, there are a few things you can do to ensure your reward is fulfilling:
• List the 3 most significant reward moments in your life. What made them so? Find ways to replicate those elements; very likely these are things that make you feel rewarded.
• Journal about your achievement: Yes! You read that right! Reward can also be achieved by journaling. Journaling helps raising awareness of your achievement. What made it so worthwhile? How did it change you? How did it make you feel?
• See the link between your values and your accomplishment. If what you accomplish is aligned with your values, your reward will be more solid and appreciated. Stepping over your values in order to achieve something might seem okay in that moment, but in the long run it can cause an identity conflict.
• ​Notice the role other people played in your reward.
• How does it feel when other people reward you? Who are these people? What’s your opinion about them? According to the SCARF model, status (the relative importance to others), plays a key role in our social needs behaviors. Being rewarded publicly or by someone with a higher status than us can play a key role in our overall satisfaction.
• Note the three best positive feedbacks you received in your life. What made them so positive? If you analyze it, you may find common patterns that especially made you appreciate the reward. Was it how genuine and sincere the person seemed to be? Was it the words and the tone they used? Or was it the respect you had for that person? Or maybe all of the above?

REWARD. It is much more complex than we think. In fact, it takes time to fully understand how we experience reward and the reasons why. Be patient while you are in the process of understanding this.
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My invitation to you is to think about what reward means to you and apply 1 or 2 learnings the next time you get rewarded or deserve a reward. There is one and only one person with whom you spend the most time in your life and that person is YOU. Being aware of how you like to be rewarded can be a key to happiness.

​By Davide Costella
Unsplash photo​

Want to set you a more rewarding strategy for yourself or your team? 
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