• Home
  • Coaching
    • Executive Coaching
    • Team Coaching
    • Communication Coaching
  • Programs
  • Coaches
  • Testimonials
  • Self-help Books
  • Blog
  • Contact / FAQ's
The Coaching Group of Switzerland
  • Home
  • Coaching
    • Executive Coaching
    • Team Coaching
    • Communication Coaching
  • Programs
  • Coaches
  • Testimonials
  • Self-help Books
  • Blog
  • Contact / FAQ's

Coaching Blog
The Coaching Group Of Switzerland

Oh No - Not Another Micromanager!

24/5/2015

0 Comments

 
by Suzie Doscher 
At work the label is 'Micromanager', at home 'Control Freak'.  The Oxford Dictionary defines it as, “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” 

Where does this behaviour come from?

Difficult or traumatic experiences, usually from the past, make it hard for controlling people to trust, accept help and support, or to relinquish control to others. The attempts to control a situation or environment are designed to offer the controller a feeling of safety. This can be a sign of low self-esteem. In the workplace, delegating is one of the harder skills for a micromanager to learn as fearing failure and trusting no one to do a good job, the micromanager strives to control everything.
One difficult aspect of being around a micromanager is their lack of understanding how their behavior and choice of words affects the people around them.  The trick is not to take it personally; their behavior and means of communication are designed to manipulate and need not be taken personally. The attitude comes from deep inside and the person is quite unaware how controlling they are being.

Communicating with a Micromanager

Micromanagers like to manipulate conversations. They do this by deciding what is talked about, for how long, and how deep or detailed a topic can get. The execution is achieved by constantly interrupting, finishing sentences for the other person, not listening with attention and doing distracting things like getting up and walking around. 

Micromanagers rarely consider themselves as controlling and are convinced their way is the right way. He or she will have an opinion about almost everything and will disagree with most suggestions that are not their own. Controllers also tend to also control themselves too and you might observe obsessive habits in them.

Here I am considering how you can deal with being in the company of a person who needs to be in control – whether in a private relationship or at work:
  1. If someone dominates conversations, allow them to finish. Then, in a calm manner say, “I understand what you’re saying and now would like to express my thoughts.”
  2. If someone continually gives you advice by telling you exactly what you should be doing, again, in a calm manner say, "I value your advice, but I wish to consider my own thoughts on this matter as well.”
  3. Your goal for establishing a healthier communication pattern with a Control Freak is to eventually “agree to disagree.”
  4. Express yourself assertively without giving the person the feeling you are telling them what to do. Never try to control a controller.
  5. Remain calm and be consistent with controllers. Getting angry does not achieve anything. Control Freaks have no problem with arguments. In fact, they seek power struggles. Remember, in their minds the world should feel, think, do what they deem is right.
  6. Remember a Control Freak always looks for a power struggle.
  7. Be as consistent as possible with the style in which you communicate. It will require patience and time, but can result in turning the negative communication pattern into one that is more acceptable to you.
  8. Accept them for who they are. Distance yourself if possible, if this is not possible, remember: "You can’t change people but you can change how you react to them."
  9. Maintain the focus on your reactions and communication style.

Knowing what to expect can help you choose how to interact and take care of yourself at the same time.



 
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Blog Home

    ​Self-Help Book / Personal Development
    by Suzie Doscher
    3
    rd Edition

    Picture
    Buy your book at Amazon
    BALANCE - offers you support  in life's difficult moments. 
    This book is about change and finding balance in life. Full of self-coaching exercises to help you learn and grow.

    Available in Paperback and Kindle at Amazon stores worldwide
    Audiobook narrated by Suzie Doscher on Amazon, Audible or iTunes

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Balance
    Business Coach In Lausanne
    Business Coach Zurich
    Coaching
    Coaching In Lausanne
    Coaching In Zurich
    Coaching Switzerland
    Coaching Switzerlandd
    Communication
    Core Values
    Covid 19
    Covid- 19
    Davide Costella
    Effectiveness
    Emotional Intelligence
    Empowerment
    Executive Coach
    Executive Coaching In Zurich
    Happiness
    Joy
    Leadership
    Life Coaching
    Life Coach Zurich
    Mindfulness
    Motivation
    Networking
    Neuroscience
    New Years Resolutions 2019
    Organizational Culture
    Other
    Pandemic
    Personal Development
    Seb Jauslin
    Start Ups
    Staying Focused
    Susan Begeman Steiner
    Suzie Doscher
    Team Coaching
    Virtual Coaching

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013

Contact info:


Suzie Doscher
Executive Coach for Self Development
​ 
​
Email Suzie
​Phone: + 41 43 443 59 54
www.suziedoscher.com
Linktree
Susan Begeman Steiner
Executive Coach
Team Coaching / Team Facilitation

​Email Susan
​Phone: + 41 78 798 83 99
www.sbsteinercoaching.com
Davide Costella
Communication Coaching
​NLP Coach

Email Davide
​Phone: +41 76 358 37 28
www.davidecostella.com
Seb Jauslin
Executive Coach for Daring Leaders and Lawyers 

​Email Seb
Phone: +41 76 202 01 13
​www.sebjauslin.com
Linktree

  • Home
  • Coaching
    • Executive Coaching
    • Team Coaching
    • Communication Coaching
  • Programs
  • Coaches
  • Testimonials
  • Self-help Books
  • Blog
  • Contact / FAQ's