• Home
  • Coaching
    • Executive Coaching
    • Personal Development / Life Coaching
    • Team Coaching
    • Communication Coaching
  • Programs
  • Coaches
  • Testimonials
  • Self-help Books
  • Blog
  • Contact / FAQ's
The Coaching Group of Switzerland
  • Home
  • Coaching
    • Executive Coaching
    • Personal Development / Life Coaching
    • Team Coaching
    • Communication Coaching
  • Programs
  • Coaches
  • Testimonials
  • Self-help Books
  • Blog
  • Contact / FAQ's

Coaching Blog
The Coaching Group Of Switzerland

Secrets of NLP: How to Build Rapport When Working Virtually

29/7/2016

0 Comments

 
By Davide Costella
​
​Imagine you are leading a global project for a large, multinational company. What might be your main challenges in terms of communication? One inevitable challenge is that you have to deal with stakeholders across the globe. This translates in different cultures, different personas, backgrounds, beliefs, conflicts as well as different communication tools such as email, face-to-face, Skype etc. This is what a client of mine, let’s call him Jack, was facing and struggling with on a regular basis. How can NLP help you to overcome the most difficult communication challenges?
​
I asked Jack who his most painful stakeholder was. Who keeps him up at night? He answered without hesitating that this was Matt.

1. RAPPORT
First we identified how Jack could enter in rapport with Matt. Rapport is the basis for any interaction.
  • Metaprograms: We began to analyze the metaprograms of this difficult stakeholder and noticed that look for differences was the predominate one. Knowing this, Jack was able to start building rapport by showing he could look more for differences than similarities which is a different metaprogram.
  • Tone of voice: Jack was dealing with Matt only via phone, so we had to work on Jack’s tonality. I attended some calls they had and paid attention to the tonality, volume, pace, speed, pauses and breathing so Jack could also create rapport at this level.
  • Linguistic: This is the most fascinating and fun part of NLP. We focused on the words, sayings, mantra that Matt was using and realized that “should” and “the bottom line is…” were the ones Matt used the most. Jack started to use these as well when he spoke to Matt, with elegance and caution of course! We went a step further and eliminated from Jack’s vocabulary the use of the word BUT. Instead, Jack used AND. A simple AND very effective secret to build rapport.

2. SUBMODALITIES
Even though Jack had managed to improve rapport, he still could not fully control his stakeholder. At the end of the day you need to be honest about what is really under YOUR control. This is why we decided to work on handling Jack’s anger that came up before and after some of the meetings. That anger was like an alarm going off at 5:00 am! Jack said,  “It kills my head” -- this is how bad he was feeling. The alarm metaphor was very significant since Jack was predominately auditory.   We worked a lot with, and . This helped Jack control what he COULD control, the way he filtered information. This helps you create a more helpful map of the world.

3. SLEIGHT OF MOUTH
We started eliciting Matt’s beliefs and practices on using great part of the models. Sleight of Mouth is a tremendously powerful tool, but it takes great deal of practice to master it with elegance and speed. This is why practice makes it all!
 
At this point, maybe you expect that Jack was able to manage every single interaction with Matt successfully. Well, of course that’s not really the case, but Jack was able to handle effectively the great majority of interactions with Matt, his most painful stakeholder. The good thing is that Jack had much more control over his feelings and this is what set him free.

Communication is very subtle. It’s easy to underestimate the power of even some small changes that might seem insignificant, but that in the end will make a very significant difference between getting what you want or not.

If you would like to improve your communication skills and make a real difference in any sphere, I am here to help you. Let’s set up an appointment to talk about it!
 

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Blog Home

    ​Self-Help Book / Personal Development
    by Suzie Doscher
    ​
    2022 revised and updated 3rd edition
    Available now

    Picture
    Buy your book at Amazon
    BALANCE - offers you support  in life's difficult moments. 
    This book is about change and finding balance in life. Full of self-coaching exercises to help you learn and grow.

    Available in Paperback and Kindle at Amazon stores worldwide
    Audiobook narrated by Suzie Doscher coming later in 2022.

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Balance
    Business Coach In Lausanne
    Business Coach Zurich
    Coaching
    Coaching In Lausanne
    Coaching In Zurich
    Coaching Switzerland
    Coaching Switzerlandd
    Communication
    Core Values
    Covid 19
    Covid- 19
    Davide Costella
    Effectiveness
    Emotional Intelligence
    Empowerment
    Executive Coaching In Zurich
    Happiness
    Joy
    Leadership
    Life Coaching
    Life Coach Zurich
    Mindfulness
    Motivation
    Networking
    Neuroscience
    New Years Resolutions 2019
    Organizational Culture
    Other
    Pandemic
    Start Ups
    Staying Focused
    Susan Begeman Steiner
    Suzie Doscher
    Team Coaching
    Virtual Coaching

    Archives

    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013

Contact Information
​ The Coaching Group of Switzerland - General Enquiry

Suzie Doscher
Executive Coach / Life Coaching
​Personal Development
suzie@coachgroupofch.ch
​Phone: + 41 443 59 54
www.suziedoscher.com
Susan Begeman Steiner
Executive Coach, Business Coach
​Team Coaching / Facilitation
susan@coachgroupofch.ch
​Phone: + 41 78 798 83 99
www.sbsteinercoaching.com
Davide Costella
​Communication Coaching
​NLP Coach
davide@coachgroupofch.ch
​Phone: +41 76 358 37 28
 
www.davidecostella.com
  • Home
  • Coaching
    • Executive Coaching
    • Personal Development / Life Coaching
    • Team Coaching
    • Communication Coaching
  • Programs
  • Coaches
  • Testimonials
  • Self-help Books
  • Blog
  • Contact / FAQ's