Someone Pushed One of Your Buttons?

by Suzie Doscher

The bottom line is to act, not react.

Reacting rarely helps the situation. Taking some time to consider how you want to handle the issue and what you want to achieve is worthwhile thinking about.
 
If someone has pushed one of your buttons it is good to remind yourself you cannot control how other people behave, but you can control how you react. Feeling affected by what other people do or say happens to everybody. Getting too upset or bothered about it drains your energy. This is a fairly normal human reaction. 

 Steps You Can Take When Someone Has Pushed A Button:

1. Acknowledge that, for whatever reason, you are feeling upset. It is okay to feel this way, do not deny yourself these feelings.
2. Assess what, if anything, you can do right now to help yourself.
3. Do you need some time out to think? Walk away for a couple of minutes, (excuse yourself to get a coffee, or a loo break)
4. Take a couple of deep breaths and let go of some of the negative emotions with each exhale.
5. Consider your response options and make sure you are acting not reacting. Carefully consider the possible consequences of your response.
6. Make a mental list of your options.
7. Decide which one of these options feels best and would help you the most right now.
8. Maybe the best decision is to do nothing? 
9. Decide what do you need to do next to follow through with the option you chose.

Remember the bottom line is that you want to act, not react. 

Should you find yourself in the company of someone who continually pushes your buttons, it might be worthwhile to ask yourself, "Is this a person with whom I really want to continue spending time?" If the answer is no, figure out a compassionate way to disengage, if however it is a work colleague and you do not have the luxury of choice it is best to learn how to handle the moment.

 "We cannot change people, we can change how we react to them"

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