by Suzie Doscher
Everyone experiences these two key feelings in life at some point or another: acceptance and rejection. Sometimes, you interpret the absence of one as being the other: if you are not accepted, you feel that you are being rejected and vice versa.
Rejection is a feeling of loss and comes in many forms
Being rejected, for whatever reason, is rarely an easy thing to experience. Rejection is a feeling of loss and comes in many forms. To name just a few: an idea you proposed that was not accepted, a relationship you were hoping to have, or one that has ended, being turned down when applying for a job, even not being allowed to communicate clearly. All of these experiences can bring up the feeling of rejection.
Here are some tips for how to cope with those moments when you feel rejected:
1. Stay with your feelings of rejection and start from that place. Allow yourself to feel exactly what you are feeling. Cry if you need to or get angry if that is the emotion that surfaces. Whatever the emotion brewing inside, allow it to surface.
2. Focus closely on exactly what happened to make you feel this way. What did you experience that has left you with the feeling of rejection?
3. Do you feel you are losing anything by being rejected? Ask yourself what exactly you think you are you losing, if anything? Be specific and honest with yourself. Only in this manner will you progress away from feeling rejected. Make a list of what you feel you are losing, if only a mental one.
4. What will change in your life because of this rejection or loss?
5. Focus for a minute on what you do have rather than what you feel you do not have. What is working well? What have you achieved that you feel good about? Who is already in your life you are happy and proud of?
6. How can you help yourself see this rejection or loss differently, perhaps as an opportunity to self-reflect or to learn something?
7. For example, if you did not get the job, then might this be a chance to approach the job search differently? Is there something you can learn about yourself and how you are handling all of this? If you have been rejected in a relationship, what experiences can you take into the future? If your idea was rejected and you see that the idea was good but just presented badly or at the wrong time, how can it be improved upon?
8. Consider that perhaps there is something to be gained as a result of what happened. Perhaps the situation was simply not right for you and a better opportunity will be available in the future
9. Think about how you can move forward with your day. For example, take a walk or a bath, call a friend, or, even better, write down your feelings, thereby releasing some of those emotions.
10. Make your decision based on what will nourish you. Follow through with that walk, phone call, nap, bath, or even just a couple of deep breaths if there is no time for any of the other options.
Feeling Rejected? is an excerpt from Suzie Doscher's book: BALANCE - A Practical Handbook for Life's Difficult Moments'