How to Leave Work at Work

How about going out for a sail, swim, drink, run, or meet friends, play with your children,
talk to your partner – without your head still being full of work-related information?

It can be difficult to leave work related thoughts behind at the end of the day. Too many people arrive home not really present. Their bodies might have walked through the door but mentally they are miles away. This seems to be the reality in today's world. Remember: There is more to life than just work.

You do need some kind of balance between down-time and work to be the most effective. 
Clarity will come easier if you give your brain a rest. It is amazing what thoughts, ideas, solutions and insights can come to you by creating some space for them.
 
This is a common topic with my coaching clients. I might work with five different clients on this particular topic, yet each one will find his or her unique way to unwind and reenter personal life.
 
It helps to remember and accept as an important truth, that your work is only part of your life. It is wonderful if you love what you do and have passion for your work, but do not forget that your personal life is at least as important as your work.
 
The goal is not to neglect your work but also not neglect your family, friends, and self. 

Establish and maintain a routine of self-care. Start by unwinding from work on your way home.
Some examples that have helped my clients include: listening to music or an audiobook in the car or on the train, taking a walk and being more mindful while doing so, meeting a friend, or exercising.

​Start instilling this habit and you will experience life as more satisfying, rewarding, happy, and healthier in mind and body.

Periods of downtime are necessary in order to avoid burning out. The less stress all around, the better your performance will be. This is more than true of work.
 
Some helpful suggestions to consider for de-stressing and leaving work at the office:

• Accept that only on a rare occasion will you be able to go home leaving a clear desk behind. There will always be more to do!
• Raise your awareness to how many 'I shoulds' you have running!
• Attempt to let go of at least one 'I should' thought. They guarantee that you will be taking the stress with you. If you are used to 'I should' thoughts, they might have become a bad habit at this point.
• Know that letting go of old habits requires time and patience. 'I should' thoughts could also be based on a limiting belief (a thought pattern that limits you, holds you back, and can keep you running in circles.) These are best explored with a professional coach if you are finding it difficult to shift.
• To start, focus on making one small change. One baby step at a time will lead to sustainable transformation.
• For motivation: Ask yourself how de-stressing and leaving work at the office will benefit you. Write down what you will gain. Writing it down makes the desire to change more real.
• Take some time to consider what the best, most practical and realistic steps are for you to take. For example: What would you have to do to treat your commute home as a time to unwind? (Stop for a coffee, take a stroll in the park or around the block, sit and watch the stressed people on their way home and be thankful that you are not going to be one of them anymore.)

 
Be realistic with your thoughts and plans for this change. Find whatever best matches your personality, fits into your lifestyle, suits you the best, and would give you the best rewards. For some it might be a visualization of putting work into a box and leaving it in a drawer at the office.
 
Allow yourself as much time as you need to find what routine works best for you. You, your family, and friends will be grateful.
 
If you have had a particularly bad day, make sure you allow a little extra time for unwinding and de-stressing.
 
Remind yourself that work will still be there in the morning. With a fresh approach, a de-stressed self, a good night’s sleep, a good dinner, a laugh, you will be able to tackle all issues with better energy and a better attitude.
 
Leaving work behind, mentally and physically, is up to you.
 
In summary: If you want this, you have found the right motivation. Consider your choices and follow through. It will take time and practice until this new behavior is in place. The rewards will be worth the effort. Your boss will appreciate the stronger you and so will your friends and family. Remember, you get the most out of this as you are treating yourself with the care and respect you deserve.
 
Saying no to something makes room for a yes to something else. In this case, no to stress and work at the end of the day means yes to yourself and the personal part of your life.
 
If one approach you decided to try out does not seem to be working too well, try another one!
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by Suzie Doscher
Photo credit: Unsplash

Contact Suzie Doscher or one of our other coaches to set up a free introductory chat.