You may know the feeling. You applied for an exciting job opportunity, expressed interest in a potential romantic match or applied to occupy the home of your dreams and then you receive the unfavorable response. You have not been selected.
That immediate feeling of hurt, rejection and simply not being “good enough” sets in. And this is the exact moment where you need to stop yourself from going down the road of negative reflection, the further you go down that path the longer you have to get back on track. Instead, choose to be redirected and here is how.
Process: Denial is the last place you want to start. Acting like it did not happen will not result in the experience going away. Treat yourself with compassion, build yourself up as you would build up a friend and open yourself up to constructive feedback.
Constructive feedback: Instead of trying to guess why it did not work out, how about simply asking for constructive feedback or helpful hints for improvement? It can be intimidating but it shows genuine interest in understanding and developing yourself. It shows courage and strength. Chances are you will walk away with some learning points you would not have seen before.
Learning points: Ok, so it was not the right fit. Most of the time the other party is taking factors into consideration that you are completely unaware of. These factors probably have absolutely nothing to do with you, but rather with their needs, challenges, or goals, which just simply may not align with yours which in turn does not reflect on your worth.
Knowing your worth: Your worth is not determined by someone else’s perception of you. You and you alone know your being in its entirety. Believing that you are worthy is essential to your wellbeing, happiness, and growth. How to increase your feelings of self-worth? Define your value, identify your strengths, reflect on your positive qualities, and become aware of the impact that you have as a whole.
It is all a matter of perception: You can choose to interpret this situation as an opportunity. An opportunity to dream bigger, to develop yourself and to pursue possibilities you have not pursued before.
Time to redirect: So now, you have come to the point where you are ready to go into a new direction. The experience of things not working out triggered self-reflection, self-exploration, and a newly defined self-worth. Take all these learnings and trust yourself to know in which direction to go next.
So, next time you are confronted with rejection – take your power back and start navigating in the right direction.
By Naomi Wernecke, Personal Development and Life Coach
Photo credit: Unsplash
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Self-Help Book / Personal Development