Resilience

Resilience is not a characteristic gifted to some individuals and not others. It is not a passive quality, but an active process

by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach, Life Coaching and Self-help Author

Knowing you have the skills to bounce back, not only on an intellectual level but also feeling this on an emotional level is true strength. Resilience, in my opinion, is knowing that no matter what comes your way - you can handle it. You know you have the strength and confidence to get up, dust yourself off and move forward. Your self-esteem is strengthened by this ability.  You have the confidence to figure out and fix, or change, whatever has set you back. 

This might sound easy so it is important to remember that when emotions are present (have been triggered) I can handle this is not necessarily the first thought or feeling that might occur. 
Neuroscience has proven when emotions are present, the brain’s cognitive resources are the first to be disrupted. In other words, emotions overpower thinking in that moment. 

When a situation results with you feeling stressed, kicked down, frustrated, angry, unsupported, alone, confused, overwhelmed etc. - these feelings are the emotions triggered by whatever happened.

Your thoughts could be more along the lines of I cannot handle this, I do not know what to do, I am so angry, I feel helpless and unsupported etc. The list is long of all the possible thoughts that can come to mind when your emotions have been triggered.

Until you have calmed your emotions, your cognitive function will stay limited. The I can handle this  attitude will only follow once your emotions have settled down and your cognitive resources have returned -then you can focus on solving the problem. 

Resilience is not a characteristic gifted to some individuals and not others. Some seem to be born with more resilience than others. However, people with lower resilience can learn to boost their ability to cope, thrive and flourish. Resilience is not a passive quality, but an active process. 

Resilience can be defined as:

• The ability to remain in control of a situation – not let emotions interfere with your reactions and decisions
• The ability not to allow assumptions or projections to interfere with your thinking and create barriers and obstacles
• Recognizing your emotional triggers – what sets emotions off, robs energy, kills the mood, motivation, creativity and focus 
• The skills to deal with these triggers – know exactly how to handle yourself when emotions get in the way of thinking clearly
• The ability to break problems down into smaller, more manageable steps
• The capacity to respond to pressure and the demands of daily life
• Being able to bounce back
• Having the mindset:  I can handle whatever comes my way

 
Resilient people:

• Are aware of their emotional reactions and resulting behaviour: They have self-awareness and self-regulation.
• “Your thoughts become your behaviour, your behaviours become your habits, and you become the product of your habits” – Mahatma Gandhi
• Have a growth mindset: Appraise a situation knowing they will develop the skills they do not already have. Regard tackling problems in new ways as a challenge, not a threat.
• Are aligned with their personal values. Build their lives based on these Values, using them to guide and motivate. 
• Maintain flexibility and balance in their life while dealing with stressful circumstances. 
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Resilience in the workforce is vital for dealing with all the challenges in today’s working environment, such as constant organizational change and upheaval, impending staff cutbacks, looming deadlines, argumentative meetings, non-productive meetings, heavy workload and lack of emotional support at work.  At work, resilient people are better able to deal with these demands placed.

Actions to build and maintain resilience:

• Value and nurture social interaction and support. Social resilience can be enhanced through social connections and empathy. Many people distance themselves from those who might provide emotional support. It is healthier and nurturing to spend time with loved ones to gain support and encouragement.
• Change your perspective - regard problems as an opportunity to learn. Seeing opportunity in every struggle shows your ability to work through hard times.  Failures are only failures if that is how you see them! There are lessons to be learned from our failures. Stay open to change your perspective. 
• Practice optimism – find something good in everything.
• Stop yourself from creating a drama out of a crisis.
• Let yourself experience strong emotions. However, there are times when avoiding these emotions is better in order to continue functioning. (Think of anyone in the special forces or crisis situations). You park them until later, then deal with them. Raise your self-awareness so you know what to look out for that triggers your emotions.
• Celebrate successes, no matter how small.
• Develop realistic goals - keep your expectations real. 
•  Nurture your self-esteem, recognize and value your qualities.
• Accept that change is a part of living.
• Look for opportunities for self-discovery. 
• Nurture a positive view of yourself.
• Take care of yourself – be kind to yourself.

​These are not the only ways to strengthen resilience.  Identify ways that are realistic and most helpful to you as part of your own strategy to build or maintain resilience.

Note: I realize that my articles are usually packed full of possible insights and action oriented steps. If your takeaway is just one line then that is fantastic. It might be a new thought or an old thought you had forgotten...

To find a coach who can help you become more resilient. Contact one of our coaches for an introductory chat.