by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach, Life Coaching and Self-help Author
Knowing you have the skills to bounce back, not only on an intellectual level but also feeling this on an emotional level is true strength. Resilience, in my opinion, is knowing that no matter what comes your way - you can handle it. You know you have the strength and confidence to get up, dust yourself off and move forward. Your self-esteem is strengthened by this ability. You have the confidence to figure out and fix, or change, whatever has set you back.
This might sound easy so it is important to remember that when emotions are present (have been triggered) I can handle this is not necessarily the first thought or feeling that might occur.
Neuroscience has proven when emotions are present, the brain’s cognitive resources are the first to be disrupted. In other words, emotions overpower thinking in that moment.
When a situation results with you feeling stressed, kicked down, frustrated, angry, unsupported, alone, confused, overwhelmed etc. - these feelings are the emotions triggered by whatever happened.
Your thoughts could be more along the lines of I cannot handle this, I do not know what to do, I am so angry, I feel helpless and unsupported etc. The list is long of all the possible thoughts that can come to mind when your emotions have been triggered.
Until you have calmed your emotions, your cognitive function will stay limited. The I can handle this attitude will only follow once your emotions have settled down and your cognitive resources have returned -then you can focus on solving the problem.
Resilience is not a characteristic gifted to some individuals and not others. Some seem to be born with more resilience than others. However, people with lower resilience can learn to boost their ability to cope, thrive and flourish. Resilience is not a passive quality, but an active process.
Resilience can be defined as:
Actions to build and maintain resilience:
These are not the only ways to strengthen resilience. Identify ways that are realistic and most helpful to you as part of your own strategy to build or maintain resilience.
Note: I realize that my articles are usually packed full of possible insights and action oriented steps. If your takeaway is just one line then that is fantastic. It might be a new thought or an old thought you had forgotten...
To find a coach who can help you become more resilient. Contact one of our coaches for an introductory chat.
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