Solving Problems Through Self-Reflection

Problems that persist reflect where we need to grow

​Problems have a way of popping up regularly. Sometimes the fix is easy, but when it’s not,
problems can lead to suffering. This is especially true when the same problem occurs again and again.
 
For example, seeming to always choose the wrong mate or always end up with the abusive or micromanaging boss. These deja vu experiences may be indicators of the need to grow and develop, hinting that digging a bit deeper inside yourself is warranted.
 
We’ve all blamed our problems on people or situations outside ourselves. This might be the first, knee jerk response, but blaming doesn’t lead to a solution. The problem does not disappear.

 If you can pause after the initial blaming reaction and before you do anything else, it would be helpful to ask yourself these questions:

• What is this problem triggering? How do I feel?
 
• Can I feel the feelings, then move on–without blaming anyone, including myself?
 
• In what ways might I change instead of expecting others to change?
 
Experiment with seeing problems as a tap on your shoulder, as a situation in which you can choose to grow, rather than suffer.
 
Rupert Spira, philosopher and author, writes:
Unaware that our suffering is entirely our own activity, we will project its cause onto the person or situation. It is for this reason that, in spite of our efforts, we find ourselves facing the same problematic situations over and over again in life. It is not the situation itself that is problematic; it is our response to it that is as such. 
 
When this has been understood, we cease using the world for the sake of our happiness and start using our happiness for the sake of the world.
 
Rather than assuming the Universe is against you, experiment with using adverse situations as incentives to learn about yourself and take the opportunity to let go. And then if something needs to be fixed or adjusted, take action.
 
Suffering is not required.

By Susan Steiner
Photo by Natalie Parham, on Unsplash 

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