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Coaching Blog
The Coaching Group Of Switzerland

3 Anti-Skills That Will Make You Emotionally Strong

27/1/2022

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Let go of your expectations
Most people assume that the solution to their emotional struggles is to do more:
  • I’m feeling anxious, so I need to do some kind of coping skill like deep breathing or mindfulness meditation to calm myself down.
  • I’m feeling angry at the memory of the abuse I suffered as a child so I need to try and understand and analyze why they did that to me.
  • I’m feeling sad that my daughter has left and gone away to college so I should probably call her.
But here’s the problem…
The more you do to try and get rid of emotions directly, the stronger they’ll get.
Take sadness, for example:
  • If every time you feel sad, you immediately try to get rid of it by doing something, you’re teaching your brain that it’s bad to feel sad.
  • This means the next time you feel sad, you’re going to feel fear and shame on top of the sadness.
The solution is to develop emotional anti-skills.
A skill is when you learn how to do something in order to achieve a positive outcome; an anti-skill is learning how to not do something in order to achieve a positive outcome.

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Top 11 Benefits of Self-Awareness According to Science

16/10/2019

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Photo credit: yeshi-kangrang-unsplash
by Kelly Miller, Positive Psychology. com
​
​So many humans are walking around this planet unaware of the impact they have on the people around them. Within each of us is a tremendous capacity to affect change. Yet, too many of us simply react to the creations of others.

Being self-aware and practicing daily reflection and introspection allows each of us the opportunity to find what we really want out of this precious life.  We are all susceptible to outside influence and personal bias. Without self-awareness, we are even more susceptible.

When one can accomplish self-mastery through a deep understanding of the internal self and the public self through the attainment of true self-awareness, real freedom can be achieved.  Let’s explore more...

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How CEOs Should Spend Their Time

30/5/2019

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By Patrick Lencioni
I’m a big believer in reminders.  Samuel Johnson, the 18th-century author, once said that “people need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed.”  I’ve learned this in the context of managing my own life, in the parenting of my children, and even in consulting to CEOs and other leaders.  Which is why I wasn’t all that surprised when a long time client recently asked us the question, “as a CEO, I’m not sure how I should be spending my time every day.”

Here was a guy who has been using the organizational health concepts from The Advantage in his company for years, but who had lost sight of how those concepts should relate to the prioritization of his daily activities.  Basically, he needed a reminder, which prompted me to write this essay. 
​

The simplest answer to his question is this: “A CEO should spend most of his or her time doing the things that only he or she can do.  Anything else can be delegated, and should be whenever possible.”  There are a few responsibilities that leaders of an organization, whether they are CEOs, division presidents, school principals or pastors, cannot delegate.  A large part of those responsibilities relates to what we call organizational health.  They include:

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Breaking the Nasty Habit of Self-Sabotage

1/11/2018

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by Suzie Doscher

Feel like you keep facing the same uphill struggle? 

Sometimes you create your own problems with your thoughts and beliefs. It is these particular thoughts that hold you back, keep you stuck and consequently limit you. In my coaching practice as well as my own personal experience, I have witnessed how a self-sabotage routine can be created with these thoughts and beliefs. If you find that you keep coming back to the same type of situation again and again, it is well worth exploring if, in fact, you are running a self-sabotage routine.
 
To break this self-sabotage cycle, you will need to first determine what this limiting thought or belief is. Once you have figured that out (by yourself, with the help of a friend/boss or qualified coach), consider the information below to help yourself make a lasting change. 
 
The best approach is to replace whatever you are thinking is with a thought that is more positive. For example: 

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6 Mental Habits of People Who Manage Their Emotions Remarkably Well

20/9/2018

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When anger rises to the surface, they don't react -- they respond.
by Marcel Schwantes

Anger is one powerful human emotion. It is also a very normal human emotion that needs to be expressed in a healthy way. But there's a place and time for appropriate anger, and we all have to learn how to manage it before it escalates.

That takes emotional intelligence -- the ability to exercise self-awareness to understand the situation from multiple angles and self-control to see things through other filters before pulling the anger-trigger.

When anger comes knocking, and it will, we have to know how to deal with it appropriately. If mismanaged, it can take down company morale and sabotage your ability to lead and collaborate well.
​
Here are six habits of people that manage theirs remarkably well.

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Mindfulness Is To Be In The Moment -  In The 'Now'

30/8/2018

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by Suzie Doscher 
​

There are wonderful books, classes, films, talks, workshops, DVDs, magazine articles, conversations, coaches, and therapists teaching the importance of being in the moment, staying in the now and going with the flow. But how do you really do this?

It seems odd that we do not just naturally live in the now. After all, almost everyone would agree that the present moment, the now, is all we have. The fact remains that most people do not live in the present moment and have to learn how to do so.
 
Reasons to master living in the moment:
  • You receive instant relief from stress
  • You are able to manage fears better
  • You become calmer. A sense of calmness enters if you stop to take a few breaths. Focusing on your breathing returns your mind to the present moment, away from your thoughts.
  • You feel stronger and some of your personal power returns. You feel stronger because you took charge of the moment. This offers the feeling of having influence and consequently strength.
 
Steps to practice being in the moment:

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Control Freaks - Also Known as Micro-Managers

16/8/2018

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by Suzie Doscher, Executive and Life Coach, Zurich, Switzerland

In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of a “control freak” is “a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation.” The Merriam Webster dictionary says that a control freak is “a person whose behavior indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.” One way or another, control freaks are not always easy to be around.
I understand this personality trait could stem from a chaotic childhood. Such experiences can make it hard for people to trust others or relinquish control to others. The fear of falling apart pushes them to control what they can. As their emotions are all over the place, they feel loss of control. For this reason, control freaks will micromanage whatever they can with the belief that this makes them strong. People who feel out of control tend to become controllers.

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How Does Your Cognitive Style Impact Your Performance?

1/8/2018

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In an evening of viewing art and intellectual pursuits,
​please come join Dr. Muggli at the

Foxx Art Gallery on August 22nd at 18.30
  Places are limited Book your ticket soon -
 Eventbrite ​


You will walk away with:
  • Insights on how your cognitive profile has an influence on your performance and motivation. 
  • How your cognitive profile influences your ability to get along with others. 
  • How cognitive flexibility offers you greater  influence,  especially if you are a team leader.
  • An idea about how you can have greater cognitive flexibility for better results and happiness in the workplace.

Dr. Laura Muggli PsyD, a licensed psychologist based in New York City and Zurich has extensive training and experience in neuropsychology giving her an in depth understanding of the brain-behavior connection.  
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Eventbrite
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Act Not React - 8 Suggestions to Help You Learn This Skill

25/7/2018

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by Suzie Doscher, Life and Executive Coach - The Coaching Group of Switzerland

Learning how to respond to a situation rather than reacting brings huge rewards. Needless to say, it is one of those behaviour changes that are easier said than done. However it can be achieved.
Being able to respond to /act upon means you are in a mindful place - a place where you are aware of your thoughts and feelings. This means you have considered the situation and the response that best suits you.
'Responding' rather than 'reacting' means you are  choosing your behaviour. To 'react' indicates that a button has been pushed – something triggered you not to take the time to think and consider your response. This can often leave you in a position at the mercy of others.
Some of the benefits by stopping the knee-jerk type reactions are:
  • Sense of strength,
  • Sense of achievement
  • Power to influence – yourself and the situation
  • Calmness
  • An increase in your self-esteem
The rewards will be felt not only in your private life, but also at work. 

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4 Examples That Will Confirm You Were Born to Be a Leader - Inc.com

12/7/2018

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 By Marcel Schwantes 

Ever wonder if you're true leadership material? Perhaps you've been told you are, but the question is, by what standard? Thousands of leadership books are written each year, many of them with marketing agendas to rehash and repackage what has been talked about for decades.

What is true about leadership that will remain unchanged through the centuries is this: It's about people and relationships. And that requires that leaders have a natural bent for both. If you're not into either, you're not a leader.

And you can start with the proven fact that great leaders aspire to lead by serving the needs of their people. You don't need flavor-of-the-month books and expensive formal training to learn this concept.

But you do need to develop and measure yourself against the standards of great leadership (which I strongly propose to be servant leadership). Here are four top leadership characteristics I have witnessed that float to the top. Do any describe you?  

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FIND YOUR WAY Coaching Cards by Pawel Karbowski

26/6/2018

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Buy Your Pack
FIND YOUR WAY Coaching cards offer guidance questions to help you discover your path in life.
All you need are the cards, a journal, and a little time set aside to deepen your self-awareness and design the life that you love. Surrender to the fun creativity that the cards provide, carefully contemplate and, write down answers to each question, be patient, take massive action, and then trust that you will find your way.

This inspiring 54-card deck does not follow any particular formula. You can use it any way you like. There are no rules, simply let your intuition and creativity guide you, and you will find answers and meaning.  

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Your First 90 Minutes Can Make or Break The Rest of Your Day (The 90 Minutes Focus Technique)

21/6/2018

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by Thomas Oppong

You are most productive in the morning, according to research.
Your best work happens within a short time span of the day. And you should be making the most of it.
  • Your morning should be spent on outputs, not inputs.
  • Do your best work in the morning whilst your brain and body can deliver the best results.
  • It pays to protect your morning.
  • Wake up early and be productive with that time.
Don’t spend it on distractions. Don’t even think about scheduling a meeting at a time when you are most focused, efficient and mentally alert to do deep work.
Instead of letting others dictate your priorities, give yourself at least an hour to focus without external distractions.

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How To Figure Out If You Are In The Wrong Job - Fastcompany

14/6/2018

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BY STEPHANIE VOZZA - 4 MINUTE READ

​
Ever have to psych yourself up to go to work? If that’s the case more often than not, your job might not align with your personal motives, says Carter Cast, author of The Right (and Wrong) Stuff: How Brilliant Careers are Made and Unmade.
​

Strengths are your natural skillsets, and motives are the place from which you draw energy, says Cast. They differ from values, which are what’s important to you. “If you ask someone what their values are, they can rattle them off quickly,” he says. “Motives are much harder to identify because we’re often not conscious of them. They’re the river that flows under us.”
A mismatch in job and motives will wear you down and eventually cause you to fail to live up to your potential, says Cast. “Currently, the assumption is that if you took this job, it’s the right job for you,” says Cast. “But people who are smart, don’t have a skill gap, and are good interpersonally will underperform if they don’t have energy for position.”

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From Bad Bosses to Safe Spaces - How to Create Psychological Safety in Management Relationships

7/6/2018

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by Maktuno Suit  - Leadership Consultant & Psychotherapist

Christine dreads going into work everyday to face her manager, Paula. She feels as though Paula is ready to criticise her for any mistake that she makes and hence tries to avoid her due to the anxiety that she feels in her presence. Christine spends excessive amounts of time trying to make her work ‘perfect’ before presenting it to Paula - fearful of the critique she will receive. Christine feels like she is constantly undermined and that Paula is threatened when she performs well. Christine describes her as a ‘bad boss’ who makes her feel unsafe and she is looking for a new job.

Recently, the notion of creating psychologically safe cultures and teams in the workplace has become central to our understanding of an effective organisational environment.   

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Finding Your Purpose in 3 Ways: The Only Questions You Should Ask / Thrive Global

31/5/2018

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by Cayla Vidmar posted on Thrive Global

I lay in bed in the middle of the night, looking at the ceiling when my chest seized up in excruciating pain. This chest pain was something that had been going on for some time, but this was next level. At that moment I realized something was wrong: I hated my job, the one I had worked so hard to get.

My job itself wasn’t overly stressful, but I couldn’t shake the thought that my life still wasn’t what I thought it should be, and it was quickly ticking by, with every year being the same as the last.
The work I was doing wasn’t changing people’s lives, I wasn’t helping anyone, I didn’t feel like there was any meaning in my day to day life.
​
On top of that, I couldn’t figure out what my purpose was, or what I’d rather be doing. I was running in circles, consuming as much information as I could about starting businesses and flip-flopping from one passion to the next.

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How To Achieve Your Goals and Become Successful - According to Harvard Research

24/5/2018

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By Ellie Kaplan

Most people fail to achieve their goals and the success they want — here’s why.The classic “marshmallow test” proved the universal importance of delaying one’s gratification. The ability to resist immediate rewards in anticipation for much bigger things is a test of character that only successful people benefit from.
However, while you strive to reach your long-term goals, energy-draining struggles and challenges will come your way and affect your mindset. If you are not in your best shape mentally and physically, your performance will become compromised.

The good news is that Harvard Business Review found a solution to this dilemma through a series of extensive studies.
​
Read on to get some tips on how to properly motivate yourself over the long-term and crush your goals, without having to give up on what’s truly important in life.

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Switzerland Sees 'Alarming' Rise in Stress-related Time Off Work

17/5/2018

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Published by The Local

​The number of sick days taken by Swiss people because of stress and other mental health issues has shot up by 35 percent in the last five years, new figures show.The data from health insurer Swica shows the number of days taken off by Swiss employees for health reasons has risen overall by 20 percent in the last half decade.

But a spokesperson for the company which provides pro-rata sickness indemnity to 30,000 Swiss firms said it was the skyrocketing number of sick days for mental health reasons that was particularly “alarming” given this is the health issue that companies can do most to combat.

“A lot of employees can no longer deal with rising work pressure,” Adrian Wüthrich of Swiss trade union TravailSuisse told the NZZ am Sonntag newspaper, adding that flexible working hours and unpaid overtime were making the situation worse.


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Stop 'Doing' and Start Delegating

10/5/2018

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By Peter Barron Stark
​
On a scale from 1-10, how would you rate your productivity as a leader? Many of us, if not all, wouldn’t rate ourselves as high on the productivity scale as we would like to be. Sometimes leaders feel like they are constantly busy but are somehow still unable to accomplish their goals. Have you ever started your workday with a list of things to do and at the end of the workday STILL had the same number of things to do?

If you are nodding your head in agreement as you read this, take a look at our recent blog post [1] which will walk you through conducting a time audit [2]. Once you have completed at least one time audit, you will be able to take a more objective look at how you spend your time. Chances are good that you will have several tasks on your list that can be delegated to your employees, freeing up more of your time to work on higher level assignments that will help you and your team achieve the organization’s goals.
 
It’s important to remember that as we rise further up the ladder in organizations, our responsibilities change from less emphasis on the operational or the “doing” tasks and more emphasis on the leadership tasks (managing, planning, leading).

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Stanford Professor: The Workplace Is Literally Killing Us

3/5/2018

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By Monica Torres 
No good employer is going to outright say that they kill you, but new research finds that too many modern workplaces are grim reapers inflicting a fatal amount of stress on our bodies and minds.
Jeffrey Pfeffer, a professor of organizational behavior at Stanford, is ringing the alarm that job stress and poor management is killing us — accounting for up to 8% of annual health costs and leading to 120,000 excess deaths every year in the United States.
In his new book, “Dying for a Paycheck: How Modern Management Harms Employee Health and Company Performance — and What We Can Do About It,” he explains how long hours, a lack of job autonomy through micromanagement, and unstable health insurance are making us sick to death.
He talked with Ladders about his research and what leads otherwise reasonable people to stay in toxic jobs:

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How To Give Emotionally Intelligent Criticism

19/4/2018

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by Key Step Media  Time to read: 4 min.

​
Whether you are a team leader or a member of a team, you will likely encounter situations in which you need to offer criticism or constructive feedback. While this can be difficult, giving feedback is a necessary part of leadership and being a member of a team. Teams that openly address counterproductive behavior create an environment that fosters continuous development, learning, and innovation. The ability to give effective, emotionally intelligent criticism is essential to high levels of team performance.

What Does It Mean to Offer Effective Criticism?
People who give effective criticism balance empathy and an understanding of the person they are giving feedback to with an objective and calm demeanor. They have developed trust through interpersonal understanding and compassion. They know team members’ strengths, weaknesses, and unique abilities. They know if someone would rather receive feedback one on one, or if they are fine with a group setting. They offer objective criticism and deliver it calmly, without divisive emotions.

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Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

12/4/2018

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Written by marcandangel
​
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
  • Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
  • Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

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Emotional Intelligence = Soft Skills = Personal Power

5/4/2018

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by Suzie Doscher

Emotional Intelligence can be defined as having: 
  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social Skills

I like to think in terms of feeling a sense of power - Personal Power means you have the soft skills that make up Emotional Intelligence.

I
 believe your Personal Power is intact when you:

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Slowing Down to Go Fast

29/3/2018

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By Holly Green
Twenty-five years ago, fax machines – which took minutes to transmit one page of data and print it out on wax paper in barely legible text -- were considered the height of communications technology. These big, bulky devices had to be plugged into an electrical outlet in order to function and were not very portable.

Today, 4G cell phones can instantly connect us to any person or piece of information, anywhere in the world, at any time. These completely portable devices fit in the palm of our hands and require only a charged battery to operate. They can forward information to printers, web sites, Facebook pages, email accounts -- basically anywhere you need the information to go.
How’s that for change?

I bring this up because... ​(click below to read more)

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There is an Elephant in the Room

15/3/2018

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by Suzie Doscher

Addressing the issue would bring clarity and awareness. And yet it is fascinating how quickly talking about a topic that, in fact, is hurting everybody in some way or another is avoided. The problem could be dealt with and a sense of clarity, peace, and calm could return. Yet the elephant, the sometimes very large elephant, is ignored and walked around, everyone trying to pretend that athe elephant does not actually exist.
 
Imagine you are in a situation with an elephant in the room. For example, let us say the issue is a miscommunication.:

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These Are The Four Drivers of Workaholism

1/3/2018

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BY MALISSA CLARK - 3 MINUTE READ

When I tell people that I study workaholism for a living, I’m usually bombarded by suggestions of subjects I could do a case study on. It seems that everyone can think of at least one person in their lives that they’d label a workaholic–or, perhaps, they identify as a workaholic themselves.
The definition of workaholism has expanded over the years to include motivational, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral components–but understanding why you’re overworking can help you unlock ways to deal with it.

A BRIEF TAXONOMY OF WORKAHOLISM
These are a few of the leading causes of overwork:
  • Motivational: Workaholics are different from people who are simply highly engaged in their jobs. They don’t enjoy their work; they feel compelled to work because of internal pressures. In other words, they work because they feel like they should or ought to be working.
  • Cognitive: Workaholics have persistent thoughts about work when they’re not working, and they find it difficult to mentally disengage from work.
  • Emotional: Workaholics experience negative emotions like anxiety and guilt when they aren’t working.
  • Behavioral: Workaholics tend to work beyond what is reasonably expected of them by their organization.
As this breakdown makes clear, all these forms of workaholism can be triggered and exacerbated by different factors: internal needs, external factors, underlying personality traits, and more.


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    BALANCE - offers you support  in life's difficult moments. 
    This book is about change and finding balance in life. Full of self-coaching exercises to help you learn and grow.

    Available in Paperback and Kindle at Amazon stores worldwide
    Audiobook narrated by Suzie Doscher on Amazon, Audible or iTunes

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Executive Coach for Self Development
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​Phone: + 41 43 443 59 54
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