By Susan Begeman Steiner
Honoring emotions is an important element in achieving Emotional Intelligence. And your moods – both “good” and “bad” -- are an important part of your emotional being. Learning to flow with your moods and be honest about them gives you more individual self-expression and even self-confidence.
Have you noticed that things go more smoothly when you are in the mood to do them? Traffic lights change to green and you find a great parking place when you’re in a good mood. And when you’re in a bad mood, seems like almost everything goes wrong?
Moods, good and bad, come in their own timing, so practically speaking, how can you capitalize on the good moods and mitigate the bad moods? Good moods are easy. Whenever possible, do things when you're in the mood to do them. Then you hit the green lights or, if you don't, you're not as likely to get upset about it. But what about the bad moods, when you just aren't in the mood to do something you have to do?
How can you get yourself in the mood to enjoy what you’re going to do? Here are 3 keys that can help:
by Suzie Doscher, Self-help Author, Executive Coach and Life Coaching for Personal Development.
Change is not easy, nor simple. If you have been told you should change, but are not really convinced that this is true, you are more likely to fail at completing the process. Personally, I recognize the process to be complete when I no longer remember ‘what I was like before.’ Someone still in denial about the need to change will not get very far.
Chances are there will always be excuses in the form of: I do not have the time for this right now, I am busy, I already know how to…, it is not my fault, you do not understand, ‘a leopard cannot change its spots,’ I am too old, etc.
Change can only really happen if you are ready to take action.
by Suzie Doscher
The reason "Just think positive" drives me crazy is that in order to really "think positive," a positive mind-set is necessary. Even naturally positive thinkers can have moments of drifting off into negative thoughts. But their strength is to return to a more positive approach rather than get trapped in the negative place of doom and gloom.
To 'just think positive' it is indeed necessary to have a positive mind-set.
When you are struggling to stay positive about something, you are probably feeling stressed. This might be the result of feeling uncertain or lacking clarity about the situation, person or project, or any number of other reasons. So when I hear that the advice given by a helpful, supportive friend or colleague is to just think positive, I usually will ask: “And exactly how do you suggest your friend or colleague does this while feeling stressed?”
‘Balance – the Practical Handbook for Life’s Difficult Moments’ helps you gain clarity, offers guidance and support for difficult moments. This self-help book provides tools and skills which help you to take action.
Practicing the steps in the exercises is vital as repetition is important to shift your behavior. Practice allows your mind to slowly be “reprogrammed” much like getting the “virus” out of your software.
Reach for ‘Balance – the Practical Handbook' AT ANY TIME OF DAY for guidance and encouragement to address the stressful moments in which you wish you had someone to talk to.
Identify life skills, routines and new habits through the clear, uncluttered guidance presented without gimmicks or convoluted language.
There really is no reason not to become the best version of yourself.
“Life is full of difficulties and disappointments, scrapes and stumbles. But a wise friend who is willing to help us ask the right questions can make the journey so much easier. Doscher's BALANCE isn't a person but it surely feels like one -- a caring empathic companion who guides the reader to discover answers for themselves. The book is clearly laid out: it is meditative and calm but absolutely practical, encouraging us to ask the questions that will make sure we are happier, more assured, kinder to ourselves. It's neither fluffy nor jargon-ridden: I can't imagine the reader who wouldn't feel gratified by reading it, hearing Doscher's warm quiet voice, and putting the gently persistent suggestions into action”. (Amazon review)
“Balance is a basic book, filled with common sense, pragmatic advice. This may not sound very exciting, but it may be just what you most need when dealing with stress and your attempts to achieve balance in your life. It includes plenty of questions to answer and consider, and actually participating enables the reader to discover answers for themselves. Written with grace, humor, and practicality, Balance can help you remember that while balance may not be easy, it doesn't have to be overly complicated”. (Goodreads review)
"A truly inspiring book I have read this book at a point in my life where I wanted something to change and I didn't know if it ever could. Through these pages I have understood how our experience in life depends 90% on us and not on external events, and that is a life changing lesson indeed. Absolutely recommended." (Audible review)
For a sample exercise from the Balance Handbook (page 96) read: "Act Not React - Change Your Reactive Behavior"
How about a Self-Help Book in Yours and/or a friends Christmas Stocking?
By Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach and Life Coaching focusing on Personal Development,
You have a goal, but are worried you will not achieve it. So many issues are popping up that need dealing with, obstacles and other unexpected ‘stuff’ keeps interfering with your daily plan and / or overall daily structure. Stress kicks in, which means focusing is harder and so less is achieved … sound familiar?
All of these thoughts and mind chatter do not have to result in you getting off track or losing sight of your goal. The trick is to take charge of your thinking and push the ‘reset’ button. By this I mean, ‘reset’ the moment, not the direction you are heading or the goal you intend to achieve.
Resetting the moment means handling whatever is causing you stress. Stress is an emotional issue and will not vanish with the flick of a switch in your brain. Unless, of course, you already....
by Katie Santamaria
What’s your most cherished value? We all have driving forces that keep us inspired and motivated, whether it’s supporting our loved ones, giving to those in need, finding fulfillment in our work, or making a difference in our community.
Determining your most cherished value and using it to your advantage can drastically change your approach to your work, infusing you with additional internal motivation, says Rebecca Greenbaum, Ph.D., professor of human resource management at Rutgers University’s School of Management and Labor Relations.
That’s where value triggers come in. Value triggers are items that represent something that matters deeply to you — for example, ...
by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach and Life Coach focusing on Personal Development, Self-Help Author
Coaching your team?
Add this skill to your coaching style – being non-judgmental.
There is an abundance of articles on being a coach to your people. I enjoy reading the quality information provided by the Harvard Business Review.
The desire to increase, enhance or maintain the quality of work, and in some cases even the quality of life at work, is evident.
The article in the HBR: Most Managers Don’t Know How to Coach. But They Can Learn, offers wonderful insights on what coaching is all about and aims to achieve.
Your responsibilities include leading, motivating, inspiring and with your coaching you hope to further their growth, development and enhance their skills.
by Suzie Doscher, Executive Coach, Life Coaching and Self-help Author
Knowing you have the skills to bounce back, not only on an intellectual level but also feeling this on an emotional level is true strength. Resilience, in my opinion, is knowing that no matter what comes your way - you can handle it. You know you have the strength and confidence to get up, dust yourself off and move forward. Your self-esteem is strengthened by this ability. You have the confidence to figure out and fix, or change, whatever has set you back.
This might sound easy so it is important to remember that when emotions are present (have been triggered) I can handle this is not necessarily the first thought or feeling that might occur.
Neuroscience has proven when emotions are present, the brain’s cognitive resources are the first to be disrupted. In other words, emotions overpower thinking in that moment.
When a situation results with you feeling stressed, kicked down, frustrated, angry, unsupported, alone, confused, overwhelmed etc. - these feelings are the emotions triggered by whatever happened.
By Suzie Doscher
Learning how to respond to a situation rather than just reacting to it brings huge rewards. Needless to say, it is one of those behaviour changes that is easier said than done. However it can be achieved.
Responding rather than reacting means you will have taken time to consider the situation and which response and consequent outcome best suits you.
The difference between reacting and responding:
By Marcel Schwantes
Are you a negative person? If you're at the point where you're seriously looking to shift to the positive, step one is to change your attitude and alter your perception about your current situation.
Since that may border on cliché, allow me to suggest a practical plan of action focused on three mental hacks that work. This will take some commitment and intent, but it's what the most positive people have mastered.
Self-Help Book / Personal Development